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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

To what extent do you agree or disagree? Some people believe that students should only study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as science and technology, and that subjects like art and literature are a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

3.5 / 9
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Introduction
The issue of what kind of courses should individuals take has sparked a considerable debate. Some people believe that children should only be taking
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
that
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 going to be beneficial for their future.
while
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 others might argue that literature and art
course
Fix the agreement mistake
courses
show examples
 are just as important.
Im
Correct your spelling
In
 my opinion, I disagree.
This
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 essay will present reasons to support my view.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
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, each
memeber
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member
 of the community should have the free-well to choose what is beneficial for their future.
This
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because
Add a missing verb
is because
show examples
 it will boost the students' confidence to make their own choices after teaching them
seveal
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several
 different subjects.
Body paragraph 2
For example
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, schools that have vairus of subjects and courses tend to have more outstanding students.
Body paragraph 3
As a result
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,
This
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 can give each kid to find their own thing that they are good at.
Body paragraph 4
Secondly
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, Art and literature
is
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are
show examples
 as
cruial
Correct your spelling
crucial
 as science and technology.
This
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 point is important because people need
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
 to survive their hectic lives and art can be a great way for individuals to express themselves.
For instance
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, throughout the years we
worshiped
Change the spelling
worshipped
show examples
 many great
artisits
Correct your spelling
artists
 and writers.
Therefore
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,
childern
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children
 can
diffentely
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differently
 make a future out of it.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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 there are arguments on both sides, I firmly believe that students should be exposed to several different subjects.
This
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 is
due to
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 the
diffrances
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differences
 between each
peron
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person
 and their
interst
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interests
. A balanced and well-informed approach is essential when
consderinh
Correct your spelling
considering
this
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 issue.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your ideas better. Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'also'.
language accuracy
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes. Fix words like 'memeber', 'cruial', and 'childern'.
task achievement
Use clearer examples. Explain how art can help in future jobs.
coherence and cohesion
Make your introduction and conclusion more strong and clear. Summarize your main points clearly.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion about the topic, which is great!
task achievement
You provide good reasons for your points, showing understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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