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Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
The chart depicts the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of Australian
men
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 and
women
Use synonyms
 doing regular physical activity in 6 different
age
Use synonyms
 groups in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is immediately apparent that
women
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 reach
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 highest
percentage
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 at the
age
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 of 45-to-54,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 at the youngest
age
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 was in the most significant
percentage
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. Meanwhile,
women
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 tend to have
Correct article usage
a grater
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grater
Correct your spelling
greater
show examples
percentage
Use synonyms
 than
men
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 in almost
Use synonyms
age
Correct determiner usage
all age
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 groups, except for
15-to-24
Correct article usage
the 15-to-24
show examples
age
Use synonyms
. The proportion of Australian
women
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 in
15-to-24
Correct article usage
the 15-to-24
show examples
category
Use synonyms
 was just below 48% and it was less than
men
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. As
women
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getting
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
 older, the second phase saw a higher population than
men
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,
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 almost 49%.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
third,
Linking Words
forth
Correct your spelling
fourth
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, and fifth
age
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 groups were bigger than
a-half
Correct your spelling
a half
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, they were 52.2%, 55.5%, and 53.0% respectively. As for the oldest
category
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, the
percentage
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 was only just above 47%.
However
Linking Words
, the
category
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 in the earliest
age
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 of
men
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 was 52.8% which is more than the
women
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 and the largest among other categories for
men
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. The other five categories
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that
men
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 were only less than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half of
population
Correct article usage
the population
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 and less than
women
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’s
percentage
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. The portion of
men
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an the
Choose an article
the
show examples
age
Use synonyms
 of 25-to-34
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 below 43% and the 35-to-44
category
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approximately
Add a missing verb
was approximately
show examples
 four in ten. Other older categories for
men
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 were higher than in their 30s, which are 43.1%, 45.1%, and nearly 47% sequentially.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Contractions: Don't use contractions.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 82%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, men, women, age, category with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
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