IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

With the increasing demand for energy sources such as oil and gas, should people be looking for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched places? Do the advantages of locating new source of energy outweigh the disadvantages of damaging such areas ?

With the increasing need for energy sources like
oil
Use synonyms
 and
gas
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, should
people
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 be Looking for sources of
oil
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 and
gas
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 in remote untouched regions
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think locating new
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
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 of
gas
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 and
oil
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 even if damaging these areas definitely outweigh the disadvantages. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
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hand
Add a comma
hand,
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 it may be bad and harmful for the environment and for animals and
people
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 who live in
such
Linking Words
 areas and it will affect them by destroying their homes and it will definitely be harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 them it might be helpful for the world but many
people
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 will hurt by the damaging caused by these
people
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 who take
oil
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 from these untouched lands.
On the other hand
Linking Words
. Discovering
a new places
Correct the article-noun agreement
new places
a new place
show examples
 for
gas
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 and
oil
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 it will make the world better definitely and it will
also
Linking Words
 make
people
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 happier by more electricity and
gas
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 to fill their cars
and
Correct word choice
apply
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it may be beneficial for the economy because many
cites
Correct your spelling
cities
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 don't have black gold so they go buy it from another country, so selling
gas
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 and
oil
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 will make the country grow more and be a better country by providing a better life for citizens. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
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 many
people
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 will disagree with the idea of damaging
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
 for
oil
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 many
people
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 will strongly agree with exploring new areas to find
gas
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 and
oil
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 , I think the advantages by far outweigh the disadvantages.

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task achievement
Your introduction should clearly state both sides of the argument and mention your opinion in a more structured way.
coherence and cohesion
Try to separate your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a main point or idea, to improve flow.
task achievement
Add clear examples to support your points. For instance, you could give an example of a place where oil extraction has harmed the environment.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally' to guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
You stated your opinion clearly in the introduction, which is important for the task.
coherence and cohesion
You included arguments for both sides of the discussion, which shows you understand the topic well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fossil fuels
  • renewable energy
  • environmental degradation
  • biodiversity loss
  • energy independence
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • climate change
  • technological advancements
  • economic benefits
  • energy security
  • habitat destruction
  • indigenous communities
  • cultural heritage
  • global warming
  • infrastructure development
What to do next:
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