IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are going to have a family party in a private room in a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, say: ● why you need to use this private room ● what you need them to provide for the party ● inquire about the price of the food you are ordering

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to book a room in your hotel for my husband's birthday party. I have booked your hotel rooms before and the experience with your services was amazing. I would like to book a room for nine to ten people and two kids. It's my husband's 30th birthday so, I wanted to surprise him with the little party. I am throwing the party only for our family members. I would appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
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 some things
will
Verb problem
could
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 be done for the room. I want minimal decoration
along with
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 good lighting. As the theme is based on gaming. We will need more chairs but
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
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 tables.
I
Correct pronoun usage
It
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 would be nice if you
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 brown
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 of these items
otherwise
Linking Words
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
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 not
big
Correct article usage
a big
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 problem. Apart from decoration, please let me know the of dinner which you are going to serve. I would love to have non-vegetarian dishes if available. Please send me the list of delicious starters and I will let
me
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
you know shortly. I look forward to your prompt reply. Yours Sincerely, Saij.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between each part of the letter. This will help the reader follow your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on one idea. This will improve your clarity.
task response
You could add a specific request for the price of the food to make your letter clearer.
task achievement
You have a polite tone throughout the letter, which is great!
task achievement
The idea of a surprise birthday party is clear and well expressed.
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