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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres or route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Underground Railway Systems Date opened Kilometres of route London Paris Tokyo Washington DC Kyoto Los Angeles 1863 1900 1927 1976 1981 2001 394 199 155 126 11 28 Passengers per year (in millions) 775 1191 1928 144 45 50

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres or route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Underground Railway Systems Date opened Kilometres of route London Paris Tokyo Washington DC Kyoto Los Angeles 1863 1900 1927 1976 1981 2001 394 199 155 126 11 28 Passengers per year (in millions) 775 1191 1928 144 45 50
The data provides information about the opening dates, length of routes in kilometres, and the number of passengers per
year
Use synonyms
 in millions of underground
railway
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 systems in six big cities.
Overall
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, London initiated the first underground
railway
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system
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 among these six metropolises where the longest route exists among these cities,
while
Linking Words
 Los Angeles has started to implement
this
Linking Words
system
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 recently. It can be seen clearly from the table that in 1863, London commenced to utilize the underground
railway
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system
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.
Route
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The route
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 there has 394 km length, and 775
million
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 individuals
use
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 it annually.
Next,
Linking Words
in 1900, Paris started to implement
this
Linking Words
system
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 where the curve
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 199 km. Meanwhile, underground
railway
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use
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 is more prevalent in Tokyo compared with others. In fact, every
year
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 1928
million
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 passengers
use
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 subways since 1927. From the given data, unlike other major cities, the community residing in Kyoto and Los Angeles do not tend to utilize
this
Linking Words
 underground
system
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 , and they opened it in 1981 and 2001, respectively. To illustrate, 45
million
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 individuals
use
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 subways per
year
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 in Kyoto where the route has an 11 km length, the smallest one among all six. To talk about Los Angeles, 50
million
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 people
use
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 the underground
railway
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system
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 each
year
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.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, railway, system, million, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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