The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant .

The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant .
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the percentages of men and women aged 60-64 in employment in four countries in 1970 and 2000 Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant .
Linking Words
This
Correct determiner usage
These
show examples
bar charts show the employment of the two genders both
men
Use synonyms
and women aged between 60 and 64 in four
countries
Use synonyms
in 1970 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see a huge
increace
Correct your spelling
increase
with
men
Use synonyms
between 1970 and 2000, on the other side
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
are almost the same.
First,
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
in 1970 in all four
countries
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
much more than
men
Use synonyms
in 2000,
for
Linking Words
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
lets
Correct your spelling
let's
show examples
take Japan, in 2000 it was 76 per
cent
Use synonyms
and in 1970 was 84% and the rest
countries
Use synonyms
are the same.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentages of
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
employment that aged 60 to 64 in 1970
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
similer
Correct your spelling
similar
in 2000
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
lets
Correct your spelling
let's
show examples
take two
countries
Use synonyms
Ausralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
and Japan,
Ausralia
Correct your spelling
Australia
in 1970 was 18 per
cent
Use synonyms
and in 2000 was 19 per
cent
Use synonyms
, Japan in 1970 was 43 per
cent
Use synonyms
and in 2000 was 40%, from that we can see that
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
is
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
different between the
men
Use synonyms
and the
womens
Correct your spelling
women
women's
rate.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for example".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, countries, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment rate
  • Percentage
  • Significant increase/decrease
  • Fluctuation
  • Gender disparity
  • Trend
  • Decline
  • Improvement
  • Variation
  • Noteworthy
  • Aligned
  • Comparative analysis
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