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Band 4.5

the diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for buildings purposes.

the diagrams below show the stages and equipment used in the cement-making process, and how cement is used to produce concrete for buildings purposes.
The illustration demonstrates the stages and tools used in the process of making
cement
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and the usage of
cement
Use synonyms
 in concrete-making
that is
Linking Words
 used for buildings.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a 5 stage, man-made, liner process in
cement
Use synonyms
 production
started
Wrong verb form
starting
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 with raw materials
into
Change preposition
in
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crusher
Add an article
the crusher
a crusher
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 and ending with bagging
cement
Use synonyms
. Concrete production consists of two stages starting with adding raw materials and mixing them together in
concrete
Add an article
a concrete
the concrete
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 mixer. First of all, to produce
cement
Use synonyms
 limestone and clay are added into a crusher to turn it into powder. After that the powder is added into a small mixer
then
Linking Words
 it goes through a pipe to a rotating heater.
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
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 the powder is placed in a grinder to collect
cement
Use synonyms
 before being packed into bags. Concrete production begins with adding some raw elements that are being measured
such
Linking Words
 as 15% of
cement
Use synonyms
, 10% water, 25% sand and half gravel into a concrete mixer. Following that, all these elements are mixed together to produce concrete that used for
buildings
Fix the agreement mistake
building
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 purposes

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cement with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 0 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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