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Writing Samples
Band 7

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
The pie charts show the rate of expenses for housing, transport, food,
health
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care
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 and other
goods
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 and
services
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 in
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Japan
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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prevails over
Malaysia
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 in three factors, Transportation,
Health
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care
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services
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, and Other
goods
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 and
Services
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 . As can be seen by the graph , The biggest segment of
Japan
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 was other
goods
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 and
services
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 accounting for 29%, followed by food, Housing, and transport, approximately 24%, 21% and 20%.
However
Linking Words
, The smallest piece was in the
Health
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care
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 factor present for 6%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, The majority expenditure in
Malaysia
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 was Housing rate at 34% ,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest rate was spending on
Health
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care
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 at 3%. Compared to
Japan
Use synonyms
 spending on food and Other
goods
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 and
services
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 was higher than 3% (26% and 27%) respectively. In conclusion,
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
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 shared the same category of the least spending on
Health
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care
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 accounting for 6% and 3%. yet the other three alternative factors, transport,
Health
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care
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, and other
goods
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 and
services
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,
Japan
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 was the lead.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words health, care, goods, services, japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average spending
  • housing expenditures
  • transport costs
  • consumption habits
  • health care budget
  • goods and services
  • economic factors
  • cultural influences
  • urban vs rural spending
  • disposable income
  • financial priorities
  • significant discrepancies
  • budget allocation
  • grocery bills
  • comparative analysis
  • fiscal management
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