IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India's gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart illustrates the sector contributions to India's total local product from 1960 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
 the highest
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 in 1960,
while
Linking Words
services
Use synonyms
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 the same amount in the year 2000,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 is the lowest of them in the following years; 1960, 1970, 1980, and 1990.
to begin
Linking Words
, in the years 1960, 1970, and 1980.
Use synonyms
Argiculture
Correct your spelling
Agriculture
 was the highest of all the three sectors. In 1960 it was estimated to be around 62
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
industry
Use synonyms
 and service were not near it at all, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
fact,
show examples
 both sectors were close in contribution,
services
Use synonyms
 being around 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, similar to it is
Use synonyms
industry
Add an article
an industry
the industry
show examples
 with 14
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In 1970 and 1980
Use synonyms
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 decreased
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but continued to stay
dominante
Correct your spelling
dominant
,
droping
Correct your spelling
dropping
 nearly 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 each year,
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add the comma(s)
contrary,
show examples
 both
services
Use synonyms
 and
industry
Use synonyms
 presented well above 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 increase in proportion. Now here, in 1990 and 2000
services
Use synonyms
 rose from 25 to 45
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, only for
Use synonyms
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 to drop to 30.
Use synonyms
Industry
Add an article
The industry
show examples
 did not show any change.
Finally
Linking Words
 in 2000
services
Use synonyms
 contributions became the same as
Use synonyms
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 in 1990,
Use synonyms
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 is now higher than
Use synonyms
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 showed no rise or fall,
Use synonyms
argiculture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
 has fallen to 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words argiculture, percent, services, industry with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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