More and more people buy a wide range of electrical household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
are loving
Wrong verb form
love
show examples
to buy things like television, Air-fryers and Dishwashers, and the use of electronics
hosehold
Correct your spelling
household
is increasing significantly. Humans are getting more busy in their lives, so
such
Linking Words
appliances can help them
reducing
Change the form of the verb
reduce
show examples
their physical work and can
also
Linking Words
provide them luxury. In my view, in
busy
Add an article
a busy
the busy
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life
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
is a positive development.
To begin
Linking Words
with,
people
Use synonyms
are more busy
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
their work
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
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ancient
Change preposition
in ancient
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times.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
life
Use synonyms
is more tough nowadays, so we should buy
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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of devices to help our
life
Use synonyms
cycle.
People
Use synonyms
are working overtime in offices or at their own
buisness
Correct your spelling
businesses
so they feel tired at home, so
such
Linking Words
houshold
Correct your spelling
households
can give them a moment to rest. After eating they put their dishes into dishwashers for
wash
Wrong verb form
washing
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, same with clothes,
saved
Wrong verb form
save
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time
Use synonyms
by that, they can spend on
televison
Correct your spelling
television
and enjoy watching movies or news, so they can gain
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
knowledge.
For example
Linking Words
, research done by New York
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
says that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
saved
Wrong verb form
save
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their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
two to three hours a day by using
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
home devices, and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
Use synonyms
to relax
Change the verb form
relaxing
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
to that, humans are buying
this
Linking Words
household to make their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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luxury
Replace the word
luxurious
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and
also
Linking Words
they feel less amount of stress with
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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machines.
People
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
earning more
compare
Replace the word
compared
show examples
to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
so they want to
be relax
Change the verb form
relax
show examples
and avoid stress.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
want to save their
vauable
Correct your spelling
valuable
time
Use synonyms
from home
responsibility
Fix the agreement mistake
responsibilities
show examples
, so they can spare
time
Use synonyms
for their kids. By using
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
euipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
, parents
are give
Change the verb form
are given
are giving
show examples
thier
Correct your spelling
their
extra
time
Use synonyms
for
Correct pronoun usage
their kids
show examples
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
show examples
education, and
tech
Correct your spelling
teach
show examples
them some books and lessons.
For Instance
Linking Words
, research from
Add an article
the university
show examples
university
Capitalize word
University
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of
mumbai
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Mumbai
show examples
says that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
are prefer
Change the verb form
prefer
show examples
to buy more household
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to earlier
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
and prefer to spend
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
time
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
exploring new places and love teaching
thier childs
Correct your spelling
their children
, which helps them
getting
Change the form of the verb
get
show examples
good
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
in exams. In conclusion,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
buying more household machines
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
their busy lifestyle and luxury for
life
Use synonyms
.
people
Use synonyms
are earning more nowadays so they can afford
this
Linking Words
easily.
By
Change preposition
With
show examples
help
Add an article
the help
show examples
of
this
Linking Words
humans get extra
time
Use synonyms
for relaxing and they
also
Linking Words
can focus on their
childs
Change to a genitive case
child's
show examples
future.

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task achievement
Try to make your main points clearer and more direct. Focus on one idea per paragraph and ensure that each point is fully explained before moving to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Work on your grammar and spelling. Check for errors to ensure your writing is clear and easy to understand. This will help with the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have identified a clear opinion about household appliances and explained why you think it's a positive development.
task achievement
Your use of examples from research adds some credibility to your arguments, making them more convincing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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