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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph compares the number of goods transported to the UK by four various modes of transportation in the years 1974 to 2002. Data are expressed in million of tonnes.

The line graph compares the number of goods transported to the UK by four various modes of transportation in the years 1974 to 2002. Data are expressed in million of tonnes.
The graph below compares the amount of
goods
Use synonyms
 commuted to the United Kingdom by road, water, rail and pipeline over the years 1974 to 2002 .
Overall
Linking Words
,
goods
Use synonyms
 transported via road
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the highest compared to the other modes of
transportation
Use synonyms
 and
goods
Use synonyms
 transported by water and rail increased throughout the time period . Unlike
pipeline
Fix the agreement mistake
pipelines
show examples
 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transportation
Use synonyms
 remained relatively stable. In 1974, just above 60
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
 were transported
through
Change preposition
by
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 road and significantly increased and remained the highest mode of
transportation
Use synonyms
 up
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2002 with just below 100
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 .
In contrast
Linking Words
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
only 1
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 was transported through the pipeline in 1974 and by 2002 only 20
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 transported . Rails
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the second highest mode of
transportation
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 in 1974 with 40
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
transporting
Wrong verb form
transported
show examples
 but
Correct your spelling
waterways
show examples
water ways
Correct your spelling
waterways
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 overtook the second place in 1982 with just below 60
tonnes
Use synonyms
 of
goods
Use synonyms
transporting
Wrong verb form
transported
show examples
 that year and
then
Linking Words
 remained relatively stable throughout the entire time period

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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, transportation, million, tonnes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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