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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time

The line graph shows the number of books that were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four village libraries, and the pie chart shows the percentages of books, by type, that were borrowed over this time
The line graph depicts information about the
number
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 of
books
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 borrowed in four various months from four
village
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 libraries in 2014,
while
Linking Words
 the pie chart provides information on the proportion of
books
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 by category that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 borrowed during a 4-month
period
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
books
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 Ryeslip
village
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 borrowed decreased gradually over the given
period
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 of time,
whereas
Linking Words
 West Eaton and Church
Mount
Change noun form
Mount's
show examples
number
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 of borrowed
books
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 increased steadily.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
books
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 borrowed by Sutton Wood's
village
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 fluctuated over the given time
period
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. Fiction
books
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 were the majority of
books
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 borrowed compared to self-help
books
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 were the least borrowed. People in West Eaton and Church Mount villages both borrowed 50
books
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 in June and
this
Linking Words
number
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 moderately increased to 150
books
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 in September.
Although
Linking Words
 Ryeslip villagers borrowed the highest
number
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 of
books
Use synonyms
 which was 300
books
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 at the beginning of the
period
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, its
number
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 plummeted to about 170
books
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at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Sutton
wood
Correct your spelling
Wood Village
show examples
village
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 residents borrowed 250
books
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initially
Linking Words
,
then
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of
books
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 borrowed declined to 100
books
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 before climbing up again to 300
books
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. Fiction
books
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 had a proportion of 43%
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books
Change preposition
of books
show examples
 borrowed,
all
Correct word choice
and all
show examples
 other book genres had figures of under 20% borrowed
books
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, books, village, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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