IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reason.

Even though smoking governmental
banding
Correct your spelling
banning
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 policies may interfere with one's freedom, I strongly agree with the aforementioned argument.  On one hand, smoking is considered one of the most fatal health habits.
In other words
Linking Words
, smoking threatens
health
Correct article usage
the health
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 care system and longevity programs.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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a massive financial burden on
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
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 economies, increasing the expenditure on medical care which greatly costs governments.
For instance
Linking Words
, in 2018, Oman spent over 10 billion on
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
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 system after reporting increased rates of lung carcinoma resulting from smoking.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 modern cigarettes and vape
advitisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
, a grand slice of
population
Add an article
the population
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 views smoking as an acceptable trend.
Also
Linking Words
, smoking is commonly known for relaxation,
reducing
Correct word choice
and reducing
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 stress and anxiety.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 Al
wesal
Change the capitalization
Wesal
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 broadcast, schools are reporting a rise
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 vape usage among students, claiming that it is the only way to relieve anxiety.
To conclude
Linking Words
, smoking must be restricted to specific areas. Whilst banned in shared spaces because of its dangerous health risks.

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task achievement
The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic. Adding a clear thesis statement can strengthen your argument.
coherence
Ensure that your paragraphs have a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. Try using linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or explanations to support your points. This will help to strengthen your argument and make your ideas clearer.
task achievement
You present valid reasons for your agreement with the ban on smoking.
coherence
Your conclusion summarizes your main idea well, reinforcing the stance you've taken on the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive smoking
  • public health
  • air pollution
  • healthcare costs
  • productivity
  • community aesthetic
  • non-smokers
  • personal responsibility
  • harmful smoke
  • public areas
What to do next:
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