IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 2003 and 2009. Kausar

The line graph below gives information about the percentage of women aged 15-64 in employment between 2003 and 2009. Kausar
The line graph shows the percentage of
women
Use synonyms
 aged 15 to 64 who had
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 in five countries between 2003 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, Iceland had
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 in employment,
while
Linking Words
 Turkey had the lowest number. Some countries had
small
Add an article
a small
show examples
 increase, but Iceland went down a bit
at the end
Linking Words
. In 2003, Iceland had about 83% of
women
Use synonyms
 working.
This
Linking Words
 number stayed
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 until 2007, but
then
Linking Words
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 to around 78% in 2009. Canada and Germany
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 lower, near 70% and 65%, and both
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 a little bit in these years. Chile and Turkey had much less
women
Use synonyms
 with jobs. Chile started at around 35% and increased slowly to
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 40% in 2009. Turkey had only 25% of working
women
Use synonyms
 in 2003, and it didn’t rise much by 2009.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words women with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: