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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asían countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asían countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram
is giving
Wrong verb form
gives
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 information about the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of the population in four Asian countries that are not living in a rural environment from 1970 until 2020. The graph is completed by some predictions, one
that is
Linking Words
 the
proportion
Use synonyms
 in 2030, the other in 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, the country with the
higher
Correct word choice
highest
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proportion
Use synonyms
 of people living in the cities is Malaysia with approximately 85% of Malaysians who are urban residents. Their
proportion
Use synonyms
 increased a lot more than the other
countries’
Correct your spelling
countries
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 from 1995 until nowadays, and the projection makes us believe that
this
Linking Words
 progress is not over.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Thailand is the country with the lowest percentage of urban residents. Indeed Thailand has nearly 50% of
non rurals
Add a hyphen
non-rurals
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, which is almost half of Malaysia. The other two countries are the Philippines and Indonesia. The gap between Malaysia and the other nations
is starting
Wrong verb form
starts
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 at 20% and extends
until
Change preposition
to
show examples
 30 per cent.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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