IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Popular hobbies and interests change over time and are more a reflection of trenda and fashions than what individuals really want to do in their spare time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Hobbies
Use synonyms
 and
interests
Use synonyms
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
truly
reflects
Change the verb form
reflect
show examples
people
Use synonyms
's personalities and characteristics, and
unfortunatlely
Correct your spelling
unfortunately
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 started to show
inerests
Correct your spelling
interest
 in
hobbies
Use synonyms
 and
interests
Use synonyms
 they don't even like just to fit in with the community
trenda
Correct your spelling
trends
 and fashion,
this
Linking Words
 essay totally agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Hobbies
Use synonyms
 are very important to
out
Correct your spelling
our
show examples
societys
Correct your spelling
societies
' around the world.
Instead
Linking Words
 of wasting our precious
time
Use synonyms
 by eating or shopping and consuming the energy we have on things will only worsen our health and bleed the
recourses
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
 we have .
Hobbies
Use synonyms
 can be something more than moving your body
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can move your brain and increase intelligence,
For example
Linking Words
, Like chess.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we need to demonstrate the importance of having your own
interests
Use synonyms
 without feeling the need to fit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
with the
trenda
Correct your spelling
trends
 and unneeded fashion which will only take your
time
Use synonyms
 and money,
Additionally
Linking Words
,
Instead
Linking Words
 of
strengthen
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
 your mind and soul. Trying to please and keep up with trends will only make you weaker and seeking
people
Use synonyms
's happiness.
To conclude
Linking Words
, Individuals aren't necessarily forced to play specific
hobbies
Use synonyms
 in their spare
time
Use synonyms
 , they can do
plants
Correct your spelling
plenty
show examples
 of things like learning a
launguag
Correct your spelling
language
 or talking to
people
Use synonyms
 from different cultures.
This
Linking Words
 essay just wanted to show how
hobbies
Use synonyms
 and
interests
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 highly important for human beings around the world more than
trenda
Correct your spelling
trends
 and fashion.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your main idea in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraphs for each point you make. This will help your ideas flow better and allow readers to follow your argument.
task achievement
Check your spelling and grammar. Small mistakes can take away from your message. For example, "unfortunately" and "interests" (not 'inerests').
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This can help make your argument stronger and clearer.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic, which is important in an argumentative essay.
task achievement
You mention important points about the value of hobbies in people's lives, which is relevant to the question.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Reflection of trends
  • Personal preferences
  • Social media influencers
  • Technological advancements
  • Generational shifts
  • Marketing and advertising
  • Traditional vs. modern hobbies
  • Societal expectations
  • Economic factors
  • Psychological need
  • Belonging and acceptance
  • Accessible
  • Affordable
What to do next:
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