In many countries women are able to join the armed forces now on the equal basis of men.However,some people think only men should be members of the army,navy and Air Force.Do you agree or disagree?

Recently, there

Wrong verb form

has been

show examples

a growing debate about whether only

men

Use synonyms

should participate in the army, navy and Air Force. In my perspective, I do not agree with that, and I will give some explanation about why I support

women

Use synonyms

Linking Words

also

Correct pronoun usage

who also

show examples

have the chance to join the military in

this

Linking Words

essay. The

primarily

Change the adverb

primary

show examples

reason I

against

Add a missing verb

am against

show examples

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

opinion is because it denies the ability of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

women

Use synonyms

that could

also

Linking Words

complete the mission

as well as

Linking Words

men

Use synonyms

. There is no doubt that

women

Use synonyms

with essential training could

also

Linking Words

play an important role in the military.

For instance

Linking Words

, the majority

countries

Change preposition

of countries

show examples

with relatively high military

force

Fix the agreement mistake

forces

show examples

in the world

such

Linking Words

as China,

Correct article usage

the Unite

show examples

Unite

Replace the word

United

show examples

state

Fix the agreement mistake

States

show examples

Correct article usage

the Unite

show examples

Unite

Correct your spelling

United

show examples

kingdom,

France

Correct word choice

and France

show examples

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

all have

women

Use synonyms

soldier

Fix the agreement mistake

soldiers

show examples

in their militaries.

In addition

Linking Words

women

Use synonyms

can take part in different positions in the army, not only just fighting on the front line, but

also

Linking Words

working in

Change preposition

apply

show examples

medical teams, communication, or research departments. Another argument that objects

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

opinion is that gender equality is an important value in modern society.

Women

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have the

equal

Correct word choice

same

show examples

right

Fix the agreement mistake

rights

show examples

men

Use synonyms

themselves

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

and

reject

Wrong verb form

rejecting

show examples

them from

military

Add an article

the military

show examples

just because of their gender is discrimination. Apart from that, many

women

Use synonyms

are becoming more independent and stronger today, which means many of them could perform even better than

men

Use synonyms

in different areas including

military

Correct article usage

the military

show examples

. In conclusion, I believe that

women

Use synonyms

should have the right to join the army, navy and Air Force. They are able to complete the tasks and make

contribution

Add an article

a contribution

show examples

to the military, and the society should give them

equal

Correct article usage

an equal

show examples

chance to do that.

chunyanh502Fri Jun 20 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure to organize your ideas logically. Each paragraph should present a clear point.

task achievement

Use clearer language to explain your ideas. Avoid complex phrases that might confuse readers.

task achievement

Try to give more specific examples that support your points about women in the military.

task achievement

You have a clear opinion stated in the introduction and supported it with reasons.

coherence and cohesion

Your points about gender equality are important and relevant.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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In many countries women are able to join the armed forces now on the equal basis of men.However,some people think only men should be members of the army,navy and Air Force.Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that money spent on space research benefits all humanity. Others take the opposite view and say that money for this type of research is wasted. Discuss these 2 opinions / positions.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school.

A number of tertiary courses require students to undertake a period of unpaid work at companies or organisation as part of their programme. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of course requirement?

Some people believe that the main purpose of schools is to turn children into good citizens and workers instead of benefitting them individually. To what extent do you agree or disagree?