IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factor contributes to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Most of a lifetime is spent at
work
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, it means a lot to them to feel satisfied at
work
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. If an employee is not satisfied at
work
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,
however
Linking Words
, they can get stressed and tired, which can
also
Linking Words
 affect other areas of their life. There are many reasons that make a person happy at
work
Use synonyms
. One of them is working at a
job
Use synonyms
 they enjoy. If a person enjoys their
job
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, they will become happier and
work
Use synonyms
 harder. Another reason is a decent salary, as people need to earn enough money to lead a comfortable life and support their families.
Also
Linking Words
, a peaceful and secure working place makes people happy. Good colleagues and a kind boss
also
Linking Words
 help a lot.
Finally
Linking Words
, learning something new and developing themselves
also
Linking Words
 provides satisfaction.
However
Linking Words
, it is not a reality for all persons to have a
job
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 that makes them happy. There are a lot of people who simply
work
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 for compensation, despite
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
not being happy performing the
job
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. Others may be working and
live
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
 in regions with minimal opportunities for gaining employment. There are persons who may have an unsupportive employer or be forced to
work
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 for long periods of time for minimal compensation. It is the result of
such
Linking Words
 reasons that it is at times not possible for all
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 to remain happy
while
Linking Words
 working.
Job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is a great goal,
until
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 it is a goal
that is
Linking Words
 unachievable for all. Life is unfair at times, and sometimes we just have to take any
job
Use synonyms
 we can find. Governments and employers need to provide employees with better working conditions, fair pay, and better training. In summary,
job
Use synonyms
 satisfaction is based on several factors, including income,
job
Use synonyms
 type, and relationships with the workplace.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear but could be more engaging. Try to start with a statement that draws the reader in.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea. Make sure to state it at the beginning of each paragraph.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally', to help connect your ideas better.
task achievement
You identified several important factors contributing to job satisfaction, such as salary and a good working environment.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes the main ideas well, which is a good way to wrap up your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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