IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the sector contributions to India’s gross domestic product from 1960 to 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides key information about
India
Replace the word
Indian
show examples
 individuals' sector contributions consumed between 1960 to 2000. The units are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that in 1960, agriculture
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
 highest incure around 63%.
In addition
Linking Words
, during 2000, services
were grow
Change the verb form
grew
show examples
comparison
Replace the word
compared
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 1960.
whereas
Linking Words
 agriculture decreased significantly.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
Industry
Use synonyms
 from 1960 to 2000 is fluctuated.
Moreover
Linking Words
, from 1970 services were approximately 22 percent.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
 is slightly increased to 20 ratio. During 1980 the lowest number is
industry
Use synonyms
 almost 25%. In terms of
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1990, it was a
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
chang
Correct your spelling
change
show examples
 services were major increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 45% to 63%
subsequently
Linking Words
, agriculture dropped approximately 63% to 14%.
industry
Use synonyms
 it was equivalent likely others.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words industry with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: