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Writing Samples
Band 6

The first chart below shows the proportion of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four world regions in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.

The first chart below shows the proportion of school-aged girls and boys who were at secondary school in four world regions in 2000. The second chart shows the percentages of college-aged men and women in higher education in the same year. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.
The first chart depicts the proportion of two genders who ranged from 6 to 18 years old in different four continents namely
Europe
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,
Sub-Saharan
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Africa
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 , Latin America and East
Asia
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 . The other bar chart illustrates the rates of both sexes who pursue their higher education .
Overall
Linking Words
 , looking at the graph from the general perspective , it could be clearly witnessed that
Europe
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 had the highest interest of both sexes pursuing their studies .
Whereas
Linking Words
 , the number of
males
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 and females in
Sub-Saharan
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Africa
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 was the least in the two given graph In terms of secondary study , the total ratio of females was higher in most areas , with the exception of East
Asia
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 . In detail ,
males
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 in
Sub-Saharan
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Africa
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 occupied approximately 30% , which was 10% lower than females .
Additionally
Linking Words
, In Latin America , men were 50% in comparison with their counterparts of 60% . There was a significant contrast in East
Asia
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 , the rate of
boys
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 stood at 60% , which was roughly 5% higher than that of girls.
Lastly
Linking Words
 , the percentage of both genders in
Europe
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 ranked first in four categories , with exactly 100% of girls engaged in secondary education ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the statistic
of
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for
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boys
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 was 5% lower Regarding advanced education , the number of
males
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 in
Sub-Saharan
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Africa
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 was double the rates of other sexes, with 5% and 2,5% respectively . The ratio in East
Asia
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 was noticeably different , with the ratio of
boys
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 recorded at 10% , which was just 2% higher than that of girls . There was a remarkable contrast between Latin America and
Europe
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 . The fraction of
males
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 accounted for 60% , which was 10% lower than their counterparts ,
whereas
Linking Words
 the figure
of
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for
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boys
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 was way higher than the young
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
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, 20% and 5% ; respectively

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words europe, sub-saharan, africa, asia, males, boys with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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