IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below provides the amount of books which were borrowed in four various months in 2014 from four village libraries, with the pie chart indicating the proportion of books that were borrowed over this period.

The graph below provides the amount of books which were borrowed in four various months in 2014 from four village libraries, with the pie chart indicating the proportion of books that were borrowed over this period.
The line graph illustrates the number of books which were borrowed in four different months in 2014 from four local libraries . From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 in
September
Use synonyms
 there was a substantial rise for the Sutton wood . Another notable trend
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
September
Use synonyms
 saw a marginal drop
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the Ryeslip library. In detail, the west Eaton and Church Mount
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have the same trend in
June
Use synonyms
 the percentage for both was about 50 ,
Linking Words
furthermore
Add a comma
furthermore,
show examples
 both had a slight increase
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
September
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 rate of 150.
Moreover
Linking Words
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we see the most significant change was to the Sutton wood library in
June
Use synonyms
 the ratio was about 250
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 July,
however
Linking Words
 in August has dropped dramatically but by
September
Use synonyms
 rose even more . Another library named Ryeslip from
June
Use synonyms
 to
September
Use synonyms
 had a considerable decline
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 the percentage in
June
Use synonyms
 was about 300
than
Correct your spelling
then
show examples
 in
September
Use synonyms
 it became 160 percent.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words september, june with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • borrow
  • books
  • month
  • village
  • libraries
  • amount
  • proportion
  • new
  • year
  • people
  • reading
  • number
  • activities
  • increase
  • decrease
  • enjoy
  • weather
  • family
  • time
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