IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The best way to reduce traffic congestion in cities is to provide a free public transport service. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion and examples from your own experience.

It is true that
traffic
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 congestion is increasing at a higher rate and some individuals think
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
free public transportation is a great idea to reduce the
traffic
Use synonyms
 problems in
cities
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. I disagree with
this
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 notion because it can only help to some extent. So, we should take other measures
such
Linking Words
 as car-pooling,
odd even
Add a hyphen
odd-even
show examples
 formula, improve infrastructure and awareness camp
also
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 assists to improve the
traffic
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 in developing
cities
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. One of the most important reasons for disagreement is that
instead
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 of promoting individuals towards the usage of public transportation,
people
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 should take other measures for the sake of public health.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can start to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car pooling
Correct your spelling
carpooling
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they can share the ride with their colleagues which will be beneficial for both sides to reduce the cost and time on
roads
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.
This
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 method will definitely reduce the
traffic
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 on
roads
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 and make commuters feel better
in
Change preposition
during
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 rush hours.
Additionally
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,
Correct article usage
an odd
show examples
odd even
Add a hyphen
odd-even
show examples
 formula should be implemented to bring down the blockage in
cities
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. By doing
this
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,
people
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 will use their vehicles
according to
Linking Words
 the date numbers on
Use synonyms
roads
Correct article usage
the roads
show examples
.
Moreover
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,
a free of cost
Correct your spelling
free-of-cost
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 services increase the financial burden on officials.
And authorities
Correct word choice
Authorities
show examples
 can use
this
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 money to improve the infrastructure
such
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 as
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
, repairing and
maintenance of
Replace the word
maintaining
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 public transportation and other
amenties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 etcetera.
Consequently
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,
traffic
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 jams will
starts
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start
show examples
 to minimize.
Furthermore
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, an awareness camp
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 advantageous for
people
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 to motivate them about the environmental problems,
benefits
Correct word choice
and benefits
show examples
about
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of
show examples
 using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cycling to maintain their health and
also
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 initiate them to be a part of
social
Add an article
a social
the social
show examples
 group to encourage others as well.
On the contrary
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, if
people
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 are using free services
then
Linking Words
 they can leave their cars at home. But I think
,
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apply
show examples
this
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 idea is not effective as it aids
to lower
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in lowering
show examples
 the emissions on
roads
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 relatively.
To sum up
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, congestion is a major problem in bigger
cities
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. Some of the supporters believe that free public transport should be enacted
due to
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 the long lines on the
roads
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. I think other measures should be executed
such
Linking Words
 as car sharing, awareness and better
amnties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 for the
people
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 which are much more efficacious than others.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it with examples. This will improve your clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or personal experiences to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas to help guide your reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion that is easy to understand.
task achievement
You included several measures to reduce traffic, which shows good depth in thinking.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • traffic congestion
  • public transport
  • commuting
  • environmentally friendly
  • vehicles
  • emissions
  • well-planned
  • infrastructure
  • traffic management
  • carpooling
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