IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The cha! shows men and women pro"cient in a foreign language in several countries. Summarise the information by selecting and repo!ing the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The bar chart provides key information about the proportion of
proficiency
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 in a foreign language among male and female students across various countries.The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
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, it is clear from the graph that India has the highest levels of
proficiency
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.
In addition
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,
females
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 generally have higher
proficiency
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 rates in most countries compared to
males
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,
whereas
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males
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 show lower rates,except in Thailand.
According to
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 what is shown, China has less than a fifth of
males
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 of
females
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. Romanian
males
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 are proficient at nearly 40%,
while
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 two-thirds of Romanian
females
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 demonstrate
proficiency
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. In terms of India, the
proficiency
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 rate for
males
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 is approximately a
proficiency
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 figure near a
third,
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with
females
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 showing a slightly higher value at 42%. Thailand’s
proficiency
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 for both genders is almost equivalent, each around 30 per cent. In Vietnam,
females
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also
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 showed a higher rate of
proficiency
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 compared to
males
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs to separate different ideas, making it easier for the reader to follow your points.
task achievement
Include a summary or conclusion that expresses your overall view of the information presented.
task achievement
You provided specific data points for each country, which is helpful for understanding the information.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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