People should work a fixed number of hours per week and employers should not ask anybody to work extra hours. discuss both of views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Using technological devices
such
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as computers to access the internet is an important practice. Many
children
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across the world,
however
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, use
this
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technology for gaming which can result in their lack of concentration and poor communication skills; each should be addressed separately. The impacts of
children
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’s access to digital tools to play
games
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seem to be an important issue for many reasons.
Firstly
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, it reduces their focus span which negatively impacts their academic performance
due to
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struggling to spend a long
time
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on one skill.
Children
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therefore
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generally tended to accomplish their assignments quickly ignoring work accuracy.
For example
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, kids who spend many
hours
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daily playing computer
games
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are less likely to give accurate answers in Math problems because of their short focus span which affects the total outcome. Another drawback of
this
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problem is their ability to socialize and engage in their communities.
While
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kids find it easy to build relationships, screen
time
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is a major reason
of
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for
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keeping them disconnected from their surroundings.
Children
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prefer to interact with the digital world rather than their environment, which leads to weakening their communication skills. I believe governments can participate effectively in solving these issues. To encourage
children
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to reduce gaming
hours
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, governmental policies are required. Policies can help parents limit internet access for their kids which results in less screen
time
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giving them room to focus on their studies. Students who play computer
games
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a
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for a
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few
hours
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daily have enough
time
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to achieve their school tasks successfully.
For instance
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, research conducted on elementary students showed higher Math scores were gained by those students who spent fewer
hours
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using electronic devices.
Also
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, establishing
community
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centres can motivate them to meet their peers and build new friendships. Social activities
such
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as group work will motivate
children
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not only to engage in their
community
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,
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apply
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but
also
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to develop their ability to communicate. A cooking club in the
community
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centre,
for example
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, encourage
children
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to collaborate, discuss, and share opinions, which makes them socialize positively. In conclusion, technology plays a fundamental role in people’s daily lives.
However
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, the issue of the overuse of computer
games
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by
children
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may cause concentration and communication problems for them. Setting policies for accessing the internet and building
community
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clubs can solve
this
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problem.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stays on topic.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your ideas, this will help the reader understand better.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition words to connect sentences and ideas more clearly.
task achievement
You clearly discussed both issues of concentration and communication skills.
task achievement
Your conclusion summarizes the main points well and restates the importance of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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