Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

A number of
people
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feel the need to fund luxurious lifestyles even when they do not have what it takes to fund or maintain
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
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This
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essay will attempt to discuss some of the reasons for
this
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trend and possible measures to
tackling
Wrong verb form
tackle
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them.
Firstly
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, a major reason
people
Use synonyms
spend impulsively is the lack of financial education. Many institutions fail to incorporate financial
empowering
Replace the word
empowerment
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courses into their curriculum
,
Punctuation problem
;
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as a result
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, many
people
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fall behind in money management skills and fall into avoidable financial loopholes.
Additionally
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, companies employ the services of creatives to create very visually appealing adverts to promote their
contents
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content
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, and without the knowledge of skills like budgeting,
such
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people
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may struggle to resist spending impulsively.
Consequently
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, they are lured into keeping up with
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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trends at the expense of financial freedom.
Nevertheless
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, with the right measures in place,
people
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can break free from
this
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impoverishing habit. One of which is promoting financial empowerment in schools. Educational institutions should be enlightened on the
benefit
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benefits
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of introducing courses that improve money-management skills in their
curriculum
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curriculum,
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as
this
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would help
people
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develop
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
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financial habits
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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as budgeting. Ultimately, empowering them to make wiser financial decisions and break free from debt. In conclusion, the absence of exposure to financial knowledge is one of the reasons
people
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make impulsive decisions
,
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apply
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and run into
debts
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debt
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,
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;
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however
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, with the introduction of courses on money management in schools,
people
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will be more equipped to create and adhere to budgets.

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task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples or case studies to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main question and supports your argument.
strength
The introduction clearly states the topic and outlines what the essay will discuss, which is a strong start.
strength
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • debt
  • afford
  • spend
  • buy
  • things
  • need
  • emotional
  • pressure
  • social
  • friends
  • buying
  • items
  • financial
  • education
  • manage
  • money
  • budget
  • impact
  • loans
  • overspend
  • accumulate
  • impulse
  • whim
  • regret
  • issues
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