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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts give information about average percentages of sodium saturated fats and added typical meals consumed in the USA Summarise the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The pie charts give information about average percentages of sodium saturated fats and added typical meals consumed in the USA Summarise the information by selecting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The pie charts display the common proportions in a normal
meals
Fix the agreement mistake
meal
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 of three kinds of nutrients that are harmful if consumed too much.
Overall
Linking Words
 , dinner holds the highest percentage in
sodium
Use synonyms
 and solid fat
whilst
Punctuation problem
, whilst
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snacks
Use synonyms
 dominate in added
sugar
Use synonyms
 by just below half.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the other hand, Lunch and breakfast have a
slightly
Rephrase
apply
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similar
share
Use synonyms
 in all three parts.
Snacks
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
share
Use synonyms
 in both
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat. Dinner dominates in both
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat by 43% in
sodium
Use synonyms
, 37% in solid fat.
Linking Words
on
Fix capitalization
On
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 the contrary, dinner has a minimum
share
Use synonyms
 of 23% in added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
Notably
Add a comma
Notably,
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snacks
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 a total of 42%
in
Change preposition
apply
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added
sugar
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, lunch has an insignificant ratio of
a
Correct article usage
apply
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29%, 26% and 19% in all three nutrients .
In addition
Linking Words
,breakfast has the same
share
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
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 solid fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, with
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with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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16%.
Snacks
Use synonyms
 and breakfast hold the same
share
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
sodium
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
14%.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, snacks, sugar, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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