IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people like to eat at food stalls or restaurants. Others like to cook and eat at home. Which do you prefer?

In today's fast-paced world, people have different opinions about where to eat. Some people enjoy going to
restaurants
Use synonyms
 or
food
Use synonyms
 stalls,
while
Linking Words
 others like to eat at
home
Use synonyms
. Personally, I prefer to prepare and eat
food
Use synonyms
 at
home
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 rather than outside. I have several reasons for
this
Linking Words
 choice. First of all,
home
Use synonyms
-cooked
food
Use synonyms
 is healthier. People can choose fresh ingredients, avoid too much oil, salt and sugar, which are harmful to health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, preservatives and unhealthy fats are used in
restaurants
Use synonyms
 or outside
food
Use synonyms
 stalls. Obesity, high blood pressure, and heart failure are some serious problems
occur
Correct pronoun usage
that occur
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 these harmful elements.
Secondly
Linking Words
, eating at
home
Use synonyms
 saves money.
Buy
Wrong verb form
Buying
show examples
 groceries and
cook
Wrong verb form
cooking
show examples
 at
home
Use synonyms
 can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 costs. Apart from that, eating at
restaurants
Use synonyms
 costs too much money.
For instance
Linking Words
, a meal at a restaurant is two or three times
expensive
Rephrase
as expensive
show examples
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 a meal made at
home
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, cooking at
home
Use synonyms
 can create a strong bond among family members. When all family members sit at the table to eat together, they experience a different feeling. It helps to enhance emotions and attractions towards the family. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 eating at
restaurants
Use synonyms
 or
food
Use synonyms
 stalls can be quick and offer many choices, I believe cooking and eating at
home
Use synonyms
 is better.
Home
Use synonyms
-cooked meals are healthier, cost less, and help family members spend quality time together. For these important reasons, I prefer to prepare and eat
food
Use synonyms
 at
home
Use synonyms
 rather than
eating
Wrong verb form
eat
show examples
 outside.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your ideas into different paragraphs for better organization.
Task Achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your reasons, which will make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help the reader follow your points easily.
Task Achievement
You have good reasons for your preference to eat at home, and your argument is clear.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a good structure with an introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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