Completing university education is thought by some to be the best wayto get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that gettingexperience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

It is considered by some that being a
university
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graduate is the key to securing
agood
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a good
job
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,
while
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there are others who think that it is better to have
experience
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andsoft
Correct your spelling
and soft
skills
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. In my opinion, I believe that having
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university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
education
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is essential
foracademic
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for academic
jobs,
while
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soft
skills
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and
experience
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are more useful in business. On the one hand, many people think finding a good
job
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is easier if they have
agraduate
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a graduate
degree because having
tertiary
Correct article usage
a tertiary
show examples
education
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puts people one step ahead
ofothers
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of others
. For many employers,
this
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can be the deciding factor between
job
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applicants.
Furthermore
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, a certain level of
university
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education
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is required for particular jobs,
such
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as being a doctor or teacher.
For
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this
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reason, I believe that in the case of
jobsthat
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jobs that
require academic knowledge, having a tertiary
education
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is the key to success.
On the other hand
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, having work
experience
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and soft
skills
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,
such
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as leadership
skillsand
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skills and
other interpersonal
skills
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, can
also
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throw
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tip
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the balance in favour of the
jobapplicant
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job applicant
. For someone who is applying for management positions
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, havingexperience
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havingexperience
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having experience
of how to manage a team
as well as
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strong interpersonal
skills
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tosupport
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to support
and direct staff,
experience
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and soft
skills
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are critical. Business is
also
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anarea
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an area
of work where
experience
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puts a person ahead of the competition in a
waythat
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way that
university
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education
Use synonyms
could not.
For
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this
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reason
Add a comma
reason,
show examples
I
also
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believe that
such
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skills
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dohave
Correct your spelling
do have
a relevant place in the workplace. In conclusion, getting a good
job
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requires a relevant background
either
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, either
show examples
inexperience
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in experience
show examples
or
education
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depending
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, depending
show examples
on the type of work and field. Some
positionsrequire
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positions require
an academic background, whilst others benefit more from
experience
Use synonyms
andSkills
Correct your spelling
and skills
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your paragraphs better. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
task achievement
Use more examples to support your ideas. This will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your conclusion summarizes the main points more clearly.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument well, showing a good understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your points about the value of education and experience are clear and relevant.
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