IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they shoyld only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a bit of controversy when it comes to majoring in
Correct article usage
a favorite
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favorite
Use the right word
favourite
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study
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. Many people would share the idea that most
of
Change preposition
apply
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university scholars should
study
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 what they love,
they
Correct word choice
and they
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 are motivated. Other individuals, myself included, would argue that pupils should be pushed to major in
the
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apply
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fields related to
the
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apply
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science and
technology
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,which may lead to better job opportunities in the future. Both views have their own reasons
which
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, which
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 will be discussed in
this
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 essay . On the one hand,
there
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apply
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it is generally accepted that
the
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apply
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university learners should be allowed to
study
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 their passions. In essence, when pupils learn what they want, they might be stimulated to
study
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 tertiary education and
succed
Correct your spelling
succeed
. One instance to exemplify
this
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a
Verb problem
is a
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learner who loves management may establish a
well known
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well-known
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 brand, which can lead to
successful
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a successful
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 businessman in his profession.
Therefore
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, sometimes if there is a real
passionate
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passion
show examples
 behind learning something, many opportunities will be provided in the future.
However
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, it is a
well established
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well-established
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 fact that university scholars should only
study
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 modern and practical subjects. To elaborate, it is better for those who prefer to have
educational
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an educational
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 background
,
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apply
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 to master
in
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apply
show examples
essential skills like problem-solving and programming in science and
technology
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.
This
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 is of paramount importance because the
state-of-the-art-
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state-of-the-art technology
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technology
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 may develop beyond
human's
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human
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 expectations. A case in point is, in
this
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 contemporary world,
the
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apply
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artificial intelligence would become a well-rounded option which should be considered as an
importsnt
Correct your spelling
important
 subject for problem solving.
Thus
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, with the advancement of
the
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apply
show examples
technology
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, it could be
a
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the
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 best choice
pupils
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for pupils
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 to learn subjects in science and
hi-tech
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high-tech
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 to
recruit in
Verb problem
secure
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a
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apply
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better job
environment
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opportunities
show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
,
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apply
show examples
 it is necessary to
study
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 in both selective and
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technology based
Use the right word
technology-based
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majores
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majors
,
Iam
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I am
 of the opinion that in
this
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 current century,
technology
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 plays a pivotal role
to have
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in having
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 a high standard of living.

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task achievement
Your introduction should be clearer. State both views more directly and add your opinion clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs flow better. Use more linking words like 'however' and 'therefore'.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points, especially in the second paragraph. This makes your argument stronger.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well.
task achievement
Some examples are relevant and show good understanding.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university
  • students
  • study
  • subjects
  • useful
  • future
  • science
  • technology
  • passions
  • motivated
  • learn
  • succeed
  • art
  • career
  • believe
  • important
  • skills
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • opportunities
  • balance
  • innovative
  • ideas
  • mix
  • prepared
  • careers
What to do next:
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