IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You and your colleagues want to use a company room. Write a letter to your manager and ask for permission. In your letter. Explain why you need the room. Describe which room you need and why. Tell what changes you'll need in the room.

Dear Sir/Madam, My name is Heta Arora. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to request
you
Correct word choice
that you
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to
Verb problem
apply
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provide access to the meeting
room
Use synonyms
 for presenting the new project
presentation
Use synonyms
 , which we plan to demonstrate next week. As you know, we have been working on
this
Linking Words
presentation
Use synonyms
 for a long time to cover every detail
aligned
Verb problem
apply
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, and now we are feeling the responsibility on our shoulders to get
this
Linking Words
 work
.
Verb problem
done.
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 So, for that, we would like to access a separate meeting
room
Use synonyms
 to discuss and enhance
the
Correct pronoun usage
our
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presentation
Use synonyms
 skills. For
this
Linking Words
, we need our first-floor conference
room
Use synonyms
 because it has sufficient occupancy similar to our team members.
Moreover
Linking Words
, there is a projector which we can use to rehearse our
presentation
Use synonyms
 in front of fellow employees. I would like to make another request regarding the change of seating orientation of
this
Linking Words
room
Use synonyms
 for better visibility. The arrangement that we want is that the table and chairs should be facing towards the whiteboard and projection screen rather than the circular
.
Correct pronoun usage
one.
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 I hope you take
this
Linking Words
 into consideration of our requirement and grant us to use of the meet-up cabin. Yours faithfully, Heta Arora

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly separate your reasons for needing the room and your request for changes in the room into different paragraphs. This will help the reader follow your points better.
task achievement
Add a more formal closing statement to make the letter feel more polite and complete, such as 'Thank you for considering my request.'
task achievement
Check your spelling and grammar, particularly in longer sentences, to ensure clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Your request is clear and you explain why the room is needed, which shows good task achievement.
task achievement
The letter is polite and uses a formal tone, which is appropriate for a request to a manager.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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