IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes ? What are the solutions for this problem?

Nowadays. The more
consumer
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goods
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 are manufactured, the more damage is inflicted on the
environment
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. I will outline several reasons for
this
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 and put forward some measures to address
this
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 issue. First of all, the increase in the production of
consumer
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products
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 harms the
environment
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 in two ways
,
Punctuation problem
:
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 the chemical
by
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byproducts
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products
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 from the manufacturing process and the mass production of disposable
goods
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. As more
goods
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 are produced, more toxic waste and emissions are released from factories into nature.
That is
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 to say, water sources are contaminated, and the air is severely polluted, which results in the death of many marine
and
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apply
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animals.
Additionally
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, to sort out
individuals’s
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individuals’
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 demands, more
single use
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single-use
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products
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 are made every day and most of which are non-biodegradable. These
kind
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kinds
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 of
products
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 can remain as waste for thousands of years, turning our planet into a huge landfill and
making
Verb problem
posing
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 a threat to the living habitats of all creatures.
On the other hand
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, actions must be taken as soon as possible to mitigate the negative impacts on the
environment
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 arising from the increasing consumption of
consumer
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goods
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.
Firstly
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, companies should promote the use of
eco friendly
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eco-friendly
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 materials.
For instance
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,
coffee
Correct article usage
the coffee
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starbucks
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Starbucks
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 company has recently replaced plastic
goods
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 with reusable alternatives made of materials including paper, bamboo.
Moreover
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, many governments are
also
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 encouraging the development of more sustainable manufacturing processes. Fa good illustration is that many states in the U.S offer tax breaks and incentives for businesses using renewable energy,
and
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apply
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and some firms are allowed to purchase green energy at cheaper prices than traditional fossil fuels. In conclusion, there are two main reasons why the
environment
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 is impacted by the increase in production of
consumer
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goods
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. Not only can companies produce
environmentaly
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environmentally
 friendly
products
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, but
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also
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apply
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they can they can
utilize
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utilise
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 sustainable
matherials
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materials
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supports it well. Keep your ideas focused.
coherence and cohesion
Check your conclusions to ensure they summarize your main points effectively.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your arguments. This can help make your points clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas to help the reader see the connections you're making.
task achievement
You identify clear reasons and solutions for the problem, which is important for the task.
coherence and cohesion
You have a good introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • production
  • consumer goods
  • natural environment
  • damage
  • causes
  • overconsumption
  • demand
  • environmental regulations
  • enforcement
  • natural resources
  • industrial pollution
  • waste
  • inadequate
  • waste management practices
  • public awareness
  • education
  • sustainable alternatives
  • stricter environmental laws
  • recycling
  • responsible consumption
  • clean technologies
  • renewable energy
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