IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The graph illustrates how much consumption of four different kinds of meat (Chicken, beef, lamb, and fish) in Europe from 1979 to 2004.

The graph illustrates how much consumption of four different kinds of meat (Chicken, beef, lamb, and fish) in Europe from 1979 to 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the highest consumption is chicken in the
last
Linking Words
 year,
whereas
Linking Words
 the least of citizens in Europe
consumption
Check wording
apply
show examples
is fish all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
year. In 1979, spending on beef
had
Verb problem
was
show examples
 the first place at around more than 200
grams
Use synonyms
 per week and had little growth
almost to
Correct word order
to almost
show examples
 250
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1984,
while
Linking Words
 there decreased to around 100
grams
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end. The same happened in the proportion of lamb, there
are
Verb problem
is are
show examples
 significant decrease from 150
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1979 to around 52
gr
Use the right word
grams
show examples
 in 2004.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the number of chickens rapidly increased from 150
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1979 and reached
first
Correct pronoun usage
its first
show examples
place
Check wording
peak
show examples
 in
2004
Punctuation problem
2004,
show examples
 around 250
gr
Use the right word
grams
show examples
 per week.
In contrast
Linking Words
, fish consumption is relatively the lowest among consumers from around 52
gr
Use the right word
grams
show examples
 slightly dropping to less than 50
grams
Use synonyms
Linking Words
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the end year.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words grams with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: