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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of export in 2016 compared to 2015

The chart below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of export in 2016 compared to 2015
The data demonstrates the value of a nation's exports in various classes from 2015 to 2016,
while
Linking Words
 the table displays the proportion changes in each class of exports in 2016 compared to 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the bar chart shows that
petroleum
Use synonyms
 production increased slightly in 2016 in
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
.
Textiles
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 recorded a rise in 2016 compared to 2015
earnings
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 marked almost stable
earnings
Use synonyms
 in two years. We can see clearly from the table chart that
textiles
Use synonyms
 displayed significant ascendancy among all
export
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
, followed by a minimal Increase in
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
, whilst agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 recorded the lowest percentage in value compared to all
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
.
Petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 had a minor increase of 3
billion
Use synonyms
 in
earnings
Use synonyms
 in
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
show examples
 where
textiles
Use synonyms
 showed over 10
billion
Use synonyms
 boost in 2016 and were approximately at 31
billion
Use synonyms
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 in 2015 it was at 25
billion
Use synonyms
Notably
Punctuation problem
. Notably
show examples
, agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 represented a constant figure between 31
billion
Use synonyms
 and 32
billion
Use synonyms
 in
export
Use synonyms
earnings
Use synonyms
 in the two years The table showed that the most significant impact was
textiles
Use synonyms
 valued at a 15.24% rise.
While
Linking Words
petroleum
Use synonyms
products
Use synonyms
 were evaluated at 3% and the lowest percentage at only 0.85% in agricultural
products
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words petroleum, export, earnings, textiles, products, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "displays" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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