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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010 years.

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of electricity production by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010 years.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of electricity
production
Use synonyms
 by fuel source in France in 1990 and 2010
years
Check wording
apply
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
production
Use synonyms
 were relatively similar in 1990, where in
2010
Punctuation problem
2010,
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 coal was the largest
production
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 segment and natural
gas
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 was
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 by 15%. In 1990, coal and natural
gras
Correct your spelling
gas
 represented the same proportion around 28 %, Oil followed closely at 22%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
production
Use synonyms
 of nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 accounted for 17%. These categories together made up 67% of the whole
production
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. Meanwhile, hydro
power
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 contributed just 6% which was the least
Use synonyms
production
Replace the word
productive
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 sector. In 2010, nuclear
power
Use synonyms
 was the largest
sector
Punctuation problem
sector,
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compromised
Verb problem
accounting for
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 67% of the
production
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.
However
Linking Words
, coal and oil were produced the same nearly 13% , and natural
gas
Use synonyms
 produced only 4%, followed by the least hydro
power
Use synonyms
around
Punctuation problem
, around
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 2%.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 natural
gas
Use synonyms
 and coal dominated
production
Use synonyms
 in 1990.
Whereas
Linking Words
 nuclear
power
Use synonyms
was dominate
Wrong verb form
dominated
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 the
production
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 in 2010.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words production, gas, power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "proportion" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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