IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The given illustration depicts the key steps of the process of treating
rainwater
Use synonyms
 to be used as drinking
water
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 it is clearly seen that the process includes five main steps, beginning with collecting
rainwater
Use synonyms
 and culminating with distributing drinking
water
Use synonyms
 to users, shown as a cyclical method.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it consists of mechanical, chemical, and biological techniques,
while
Linking Words
rainwater
Use synonyms
 is used as the initial input. In detail,
to begin
Linking Words
 with,
rainwater
Use synonyms
 is collected and conveyed through collecting pipelines to the filtration process. Rainwaterwater, which is collected using gutters and downpipes from roofs, is drained to the main collecting line. After that,
rainwater
Use synonyms
 is directed to
water
Use synonyms
 filtration, which mainly includes a biological approach.
Then
Linking Words
, filtered
water
Use synonyms
 is stored in a large storage tank
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 before
conveying
Wrong verb form
being conveyed
show examples
 to the
water
Use synonyms
 treatment step.
Next,
Linking Words
in the
water
Use synonyms
 treatment stage, chemicals are added from the top and
water
Use synonyms
 is inserted from the bottom
for enhancing
Change preposition
to enhance
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thorough mixing.
Finally
Linking Words
, the chemical added
water
Use synonyms
, drinking
water
Use synonyms
, is directed to users using a system of distributing pipelines.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rainwater, water with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: