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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

In many countries, primary and secondary schools have long summer
holidays
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 that
last
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 for two months or more.
This
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 essay will discuss the benefits of long school
holidays
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 and the reasons why some people prefer shorter breaks.
Firstly
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, long summer
holidays
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 give
students
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 a chance to spend more
time
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 with their families and friends.
This
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 helps to build stronger relationships and create happy memories. During
this
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time
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,
students
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 can
also
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 travel or take part in outdoor activities like hiking or picnics, which are good for their health and social skills.
Moreover
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, these
holidays
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 allow
children
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 to rest and recover from the stress of school. They can explore new interests and hobbies, which can improve their creativity and curiosity.
This
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 can be helpful for their learning, especially in subjects like science
where
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, where
show examples
 exploration is important.
On the other hand
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, some people think that shorter
holidays
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 are better. One reason is safety. In some rural areas, parents work far away and cannot watch their
children
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 during long breaks.
This
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 can lead to problems like accidents or
children
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 getting involved in fights.
Also
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,
students
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 may lose their study habits during long
holidays
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 and find it hard to focus when school starts again. Shorter breaks can help keep their learning on track and reduce the chance of falling behind.
In addition
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, parents worry about serious issues
such
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 as child trafficking or other dangers when
children
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 are left unsupervised for a long
time
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. Shorter
holidays
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 can reduce these risks by keeping
children
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 in a safer environment. In conclusion, long summer
holidays
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 have many advantages
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 improving family bonds and giving
students
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time
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 to relax and explore.
However
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, concerns about safety and study habits mean that shorter
holidays
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 might be better in some cases. I believe that communities and schools should work together to make
holidays
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 safer and more beneficial for all
children
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.

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task
Make your view clear in the first lines and keep it in each part.
task
Add one or two clear examples for each idea so it is easy to see why you say this.
coherence
Start each paragraph with a clear point that matches the idea you will explain.
coherence
Use simple joining words to show order, like also, but, so, and then.
structure
Intro and conclusion are clear.
ideas
There are ideas on both sides.
coherence
There are good links to show how one idea goes to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • long holidays
  • short holidays
  • summer break
  • rest
  • health
  • family time
  • travel
  • reading
  • learning
  • memory
  • gaps
  • exams
  • curriculum
  • planning
  • cost
  • money
  • parent
  • teacher
  • student
  • school
  • summer school
  • enrichment
  • activities
  • schedule
  • fairness
  • access
  • inequality
  • support
  • spare time
  • staggered holidays
  • intersession
  • balance
  • policy
  • example
What to do next:
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