IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.

The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. Write a report describing the information in the graph below.
The line graph illustrates the fertility rate of women in 6 countries (
Bahrain
Use synonyms
,
Kuwait
Use synonyms
, Qatar,
Oman
Use synonyms
, Saudi Arabia, UAE) between 1990 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 line graph the
most higher
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 rate of fertility was in
Use synonyms
oman
Fix capitalization
Oman
show examples
 in 1990,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest rate was in both countries
Use synonyms
Bahrain
Punctuation problem
, Bahrain
show examples
 and
Kuwait
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Also
Punctuation problem
Also,
show examples
 in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
has
Verb problem
it was
show examples
 low in
Bahrain
Use synonyms
, and the highest in
Oman
Use synonyms
. In
Oman
Use synonyms
, the
number of
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
fertility
in
Check wording
rate in
show examples
 1990 was highest but decreased in 2000, and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
in
Change preposition
as in
show examples
 Saudi Arabia in the same year.
Bahrain
Use synonyms
 and
Kuwait
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 in 1990, but in
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 both of them decreased
Punctuation problem
, But
show examples
But
Fix capitalization
but
show examples
Kuwait
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased than
Bahrain
Use synonyms
. Qatar and UAE
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 tied
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 1990, and in 2000 Qatar
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the higher than
Correct word order
higher than the
show examples
 UAE.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words bahrain, kuwait, oman with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fertility rate
  • trend
  • significant increase
  • significant decrease
  • Gulf countries
  • data
  • analyze
  • compare
  • overall
  • individual country
  • highlight
  • predict
  • period
  • rate changes
  • decline
  • rise
  • fluctuate
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