IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar charts show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did not go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts provide information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
show examples
 and
postgraduate
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduates
show examples
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
who did not
work
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
full time
Use the right word
full-time
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Check wording
apply
show examples
after leaving the university in 2008. The units are measured in numbers.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the graph that
futher
Correct your spelling
further
 study trend had the majority
Use synonyms
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
of humans in both groups.
In addition
Linking Words
,
work
Use synonyms
 as a volunteer
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 postgraduates and graduates had the least
number
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
part-time
Correct article usage
the part-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 sector represented a modest
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,
further
Linking Words
 study of postgraduates had a significant
figure
Check wording
number
show examples
 of citizens
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is 2725.
Unemploment
Correct your spelling
Unemployment
 accounted
1825
Change preposition
for 1825
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
postgraduates
Fix the agreement mistake
postgraduate
show examples
 people. Part-time
work
Use synonyms
 had 2535, which
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 it the second largest direction. In terms of graduates, they had 29665 people in
Linking Words
further
Correct article usage
the further
show examples
 study category,and they had a huge
number
Use synonyms
 in part
time
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
 job 17735. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
unemployment
Replace the word
unemployed
show examples
 was 15335.
Work
Use synonyms
 in
voluntery
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 showed a slightly
number
Use synonyms
 3500.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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What to do next:
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