IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently bought a jacket, but when you got home, you discovered it was damaged. When you took it back to the store, you were told that merchandise cannot be returned. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter: • describe the problem with the jacket. • explain what happened when you tried to return it. • say what you would like the manager to do.

Dear Sir or Madam, I am
articulating
Verb problem
writing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 letter to bring your attention
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
rather unfortunate incident about my shopping experience at your clothing
store
Use synonyms
 named
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Blue Wings. I visited there
last
Linking Words
 Monday to buy a leather jacket for my winter trip to Shimla. I purchased
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 blue
color
Use the right word
colour
show examples
 and it
costs
Wrong verb form
cost
show examples
 me 200$. Unluckily,
while
Linking Words
 trying at home on the same day, I found that it was not of my size. I was feeling down in
dumps
Correct article usage
the dumps
show examples
 after that as it is very special for me. On next day, when I visited your
store
Use synonyms
 for
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 time
for exchanging
Change preposition
to exchange
show examples
size
Correct article usage
the size
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 jacket, I was stopped by
your one of
Correct word order
one of your
show examples
 customer service
representative
Fix the agreement mistake
representatives
show examples
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 he told me that it is not the policy of their
store
Use synonyms
, and it spoiled my day. I kindly beseech your assistance in
this
Linking Words
 dominant matter by providing me
Correct article usage
a prefund
show examples
prefund
Correct your spelling
pre-fund
 option or anything else which comes under your
store
Use synonyms
's scheme. I have attached a receipt of merchandise for your reference. I will wait for your positive response very soon. Kind Regards, Harpreet Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Try to make clear connections between ideas and use linking words to improve flow.
task achievement
Make sure to clearly state the problem and your request in separate sections to help the reader understand.
greeting and closing
The letter has a polite closing and proper greeting.
task achievement
You provided specific details about the jacket and your experience, which is good for clarity.
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