IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You recently had a positive experience at a department store where a staff member was vey helpful to you. Write a letter to the store manager. In your letter, Mention which part of the store you visited Describe how the staff member assisted you Suggest what would you like the manager to do to reward their good services.

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Dear
Store
Use synonyms
 Manager, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my appreciation for your salesman John Daniel at Gurgaon
store
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, I want to share my great experience shopping at your department
store
Use synonyms
 in Gurgaon. I visited the culinary section at your
store
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 to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh raw fish for a new dish that I learnt recently. As
this
Linking Words
 was the first time I was shopping for a fish, I was facing a little difficulty in choosing the right kind. One of your staff members John found me struggling and he, immediately, offered me assistance. He explained
me
Change preposition
to me
show examples
 the myriad types of salmons and helped me choose the one that was the most appropriate for my
receipe
Correct your spelling
recipe
receipt
.
Finally
Linking Words
, I can not express enough gratitude for John's help as the dish I cooked impressed all my guests at home. To express my token of appreciation, I would like him to be rewarded in any possible way that your
store
Use synonyms
 policy may allow.
For instance
Linking Words
, I would be really glad if he could be awarded the
employee
Capitalize word
Employee
show examples
 of the
month
Capitalize word
Month
show examples
 award. It will motivate him to keep helping
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 customers. I thank you for your attention and I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Sumit Dua

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Grammar
Consider rephrasing 'explained me the myriad types of salmons' to 'explained the myriad types of salmon to me' for better grammatical accuracy.
Spelling
Make sure to use the correct spelling for 'recipe' instead of 'receipe' for clarity.
Tone
The letter has a warm and appreciative tone, which is appropriate for the context.
Detail
You provided specific details about your experience and the staff member's assistance, which enhances the clarity of your response.
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