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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

The charts below show the average percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of
sodium
Use synonyms
, sugar and saturated fat in common foods.
Overall
Linking Words
,
dinner
Use synonyms
 contains the most nutritious than all other meals. Breakfast has the lowest percentage of all three.
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat have almost the same statistics. Nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of them are used in
dinner
Use synonyms
(43% of
Sodium
Use synonyms
 and 37% of fat), a quarter in lunch(29% and 26% correspondingly) and a small amount in breakfast(14%
sodium
Use synonyms
 and 16% fat).
However
Linking Words
, there is a difference in
snacks
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 the addition of saturated fat is higher than
sodium
Use synonyms
 and amounts to 21%. Including
sodium
Use synonyms
 in
snacks
Use synonyms
 has increased to 14%.
This
Linking Words
 indicates that
while
Linking Words
dinner
Use synonyms
 remains the main source of these two nutrients,
snacks
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 contribute significantly to fat intake, potentially making them less healthy than expected. The highest
per cent
Use the right word
percentage
show examples
 of sugar is found in
snacks
Use synonyms
 at 42%. In breakfast and lunch
concentrations
Punctuation problem
, concentrations
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 are almost the same(16% and 19%), the least
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sugar, almost a quarter is included in
dinner
Use synonyms
(23%).

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, dinner, snacks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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