IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the recent past, apart from their major, many university
students
Use synonyms
 wanted to study
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 different
subject
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.
However
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, others believe that they should put all their
efford
Correct your spelling
effort
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the main
subject
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, elective subjects contribute
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of knowledge and network connections that can not
compensated
Verb problem
be compensated
show examples
 by studying
major
Correct article usage
a major
show examples
subject
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. It is widely believed that focusing on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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only
main
Correct pronoun usage
one main
show examples
subject
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 is the best way to study
in
Change preposition
at
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 university. It is important to pass the
qualifiaction
Correct your spelling
qualification
, and all
attempt
Fix the agreement mistake
attempts
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 should be
given
Verb problem
made
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 to
be
Verb problem
apply
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master
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their major.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, studying
on
Use the right word
an
show examples
 additional
subject
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 is a waste of time, and it will not be needed in the
future
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.
Therefore
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,
major
Correct article usage
the major
show examples
subject
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 should be the first priority.
In contrast
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, others argue that college
students
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 should not be limited by the requirement, and any
subject
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 which have been studied in university will not be wasted. Different
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subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 provide different knowledge.
Since after
Change preposition
After
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 graduation,
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 will present themselves in various career
feild
Correct your spelling
fields
 apart from their
specialization
Use the right word
specialisation
show examples
,
elective
Correct word choice
and elective
show examples
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 will be useful for
students
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 in the
future
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.
Morever
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Moreover
,
stydy
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studying
 in to new
subject
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 make a
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 to meet new people: friends, teachers, professors, or
specialist
Fix the agreement mistake
specialists
show examples
.
This
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create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 new network connections needed in
future
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 lives. It will be better if
students
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 can choose to learn their
interested
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
subject
Use synonyms
. With all these considerations,
On
Fix capitalization
on
show examples
 the one hand, some believe that
eletive
Correct your spelling
elective
Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 not essential for
future
Use synonyms
 occupations.
On the other hand
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, letting
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 choose
Correct pronoun usage
their prefered
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prefered
Correct your spelling
preferred
subject
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 benefits most to the student.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my point of view, I think
students
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 should have
freedom
Correct article usage
the freedom
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 to learn any
subject
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 because it contributes
value
Replace the word
valuable
show examples
 skills and connections.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have a clear introduction and conclusion to guide the reader. Summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more clear examples to support your points about elective subjects, such as specific skills or jobs.
language accuracy
Avoid spelling and grammatical mistakes, as they can confuse readers. Check for words like 'effort', 'variety', and 'major'.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument clearly and express a personal opinion, which is important for this type of essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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