IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people provide financial assistance for retried, unemployment and disabled citizen . In other countries, families provide support for these people .Discuss both view and give your opinion

Some individuals believe that
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 should provide
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
financial
support
Use synonyms
 to the unemployed, retired, and disabled citizens because of
understanding
Correct pronoun usage
their understanding
show examples
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 needs
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and having enough funds.
However
Linking Words
, other nations think that the
famlies
Correct your spelling
families
 can
support
Use synonyms
 better as they personally and emotionally attach to them, and families can understand their needs better. I am with the former view. On the one hand,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 provide a sense of security and safety to these retired, unemployed, and disabled citizens, ensuring they have basic
amenties
Correct your spelling
amenities
 of life
such
Linking Words
 as food,shelter and healthcare. Even in Canada,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 built old age homes and runs the Ontario disability program
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
support
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
these individuals, and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 them
Change preposition
with long
show examples
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 care
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
further
Linking Words
 assistance
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Also
Linking Words
, encourage individuals to start their own business
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they provide sufficient
to
Check wording
support to
show examples
 them as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some families are not financially strong and they do not have adequate funds to
assit
Correct your spelling
assist
 these people. Free medical camps, routine check-ups, and assistive devices for
Correct article usage
the disables
show examples
disables
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
, jobs for
unemployed
Correct article usage
the unemployed
show examples
etcetera
Punctuation problem
, etcetera
show examples
 are in the hands of official authorities
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they can better
organized
Verb problem
organise
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. governement side safety and sense of security, so that they can
fulfill
Use the right word
fulfil
show examples
 their basic needs
family
Correct article usage
The family
show examples
 are not
financcially
Correct your spelling
financially
 strong family side, emotionally attach, better know their needs
get
Fix capitalization
Get
show examples
 love and
support
Use synonyms

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly express your main ideas. Each paragraph should focus on one main point.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect your ideas smoothly. This can help readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Try to include a clear conclusion that summarizes your opinion and main points.
content
You have identified both viewpoints well, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
support
You provided examples to support your argument, which is important for a strong essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • assistance
  • financial
  • support
  • retired
  • unemployed
  • disabled
  • government
  • safety net
  • basic needs
  • poverty
  • social stability
  • personal
  • emotional bond
  • customized help
  • companionship
  • dependency
  • aid
  • responsibility
  • family structures
  • adequate
  • essential
  • comprehensive
What to do next:
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