IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The line graph illustrates the participation of athletes in the Winter Olympic Games from 1988 to 2004 while the pie chart depicts the participation of athletes in the Summer Olympic Games in the same period.

The line graph illustrates the participation of athletes in the Winter Olympic Games from 1988 to 2004 while the pie chart depicts the participation of athletes in the Summer Olympic Games in the same period.
The bar
graph
Use synonyms
 illustrates the
Use synonyms
athletes
Check wording
athletes'
show examples
participation
Use synonyms
 of both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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 in the winter
Use synonyms
olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic Games
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games
Use synonyms
 from 1992 to 2012,
while
Linking Words
 the line
graph
Use synonyms
 gives the
participation
Use synonyms
 in
Correct article usage
the summer
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summer
Fix capitalization
Summer Olympic
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olympic
Use synonyms
within
Check wording
Games within
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same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, in the winter
games
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the olympic
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olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic
show examples
 men
was
Verb problem
apply
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dominated
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
participation
Use synonyms
 compared to women
.
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the number of combined
Use synonyms
participation was
Wrong verb form
participants
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 rose significantly in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
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games
Use synonyms
 of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the olympic
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olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic
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.
Check wording
Games.
show examples
Firstly
Linking Words
, the bar
graph
Use synonyms
 shows the dominance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
male
participation
Use synonyms
 in the winter
Use synonyms
olympic
Fix capitalization
Olympic Games
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games
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 3000
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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was took
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
Use synonyms
participation
Check wording
part
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 in 1924 and very few female participants.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the male and female
athlelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased dramatically till 2012,
while
Linking Words
 the women
athletes
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased
noticebly
Correct your spelling
noticeably
 after
1984
Punctuation problem
1984,
show examples
 from nearly 1500 to around 5000 in 2012,
while
Linking Words
 the men
athletes
Use synonyms
 was nearly 6000 at
end
Correct article usage
the end
show examples
 of the period.
Linking Words
lastly
Fix capitalization
Lastly
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, the line chart
depict
Correct subject-verb agreement
depicts
show examples
 the
athletes
Use synonyms
 in
summer
Correct article usage
the summer
show examples
Use synonyms
olympic
Correct your spelling
Olympics
 in
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 period. In
1924
Punctuation problem
1924,
show examples
 the
overall
Linking Words
, people was around 3000. The
graph
Use synonyms
 shows
Correct article usage
a graduall
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graduall
Correct your spelling
gradual
 upward trend, and
end
Correct subject-verb agreement
ends
show examples
 with more
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
show examples
 10000
athletes
Use synonyms
 in 2012.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words graph, athletes, participation, olympic, games with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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