IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that men and ươmen have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

For many years,
women
Use synonyms
 improved their position in society. It took a
lot
Use synonyms
 of process for gender equality to be approved. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will delve more into
this
Linking Words
 topic and discuss to what extent I agree or disagree. First of all,
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 are totally different from each other.
Men
Use synonyms
 are known to be masculine and providers for the family.
Also
Linking Words
, they are the ones who do the construction
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 because of their strength. Not only do they fit several construction jobs, but they are
also
Linking Words
fit
Correct word choice
suitable
show examples
 when it comes to physical power.
Therefore
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,
men
Use synonyms
 are the strength of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 family. Another quality that they are good at is being a leader of
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 nation.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the United States, all the presidents are
men
Use synonyms
;
therefore
Linking Words
, they are more practical and do not rely only on their emotional state.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 gained a
lot
Use synonyms
 of reputation when it comes to working. Unlike before,
women
Use synonyms
 are not allowed to work or study. But in recent years, it has changed a
lot
Use synonyms
;
thus
Linking Words
, they can work in any field that they want to.
For example
Linking Words
, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
women
Use synonyms
 now can be in the Technology Industry; they can do coding,
programs
Replace the word
programming
show examples
, and networking, where before only
men
Use synonyms
 could. In conclusion, I agree that
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 have different qualities, especially when it comes to jobs. In whatever kind of work they want to be part of, there will be no problem as long as they always do their best.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
task achievement
Add more examples and details to support your points.
coherence
Connect your ideas better by using linking words like 'however' and 'also'.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is easy to follow.
content
You addressed the topic and provided arguments for both sides.
content
You made a clear conclusion that restated your opinion.
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