IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph shows information about the average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant. (Line graph) (13.11.23)

The graph shows information about the average number of visitors entering a museum in summer and winter in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make a comparison where relevant. (Line graph) (13.11.23)
The graph shows the average
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 visiting the
museum
Use synonyms
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
 at different times
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 day
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 in 2023. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 and
winter
Use synonyms
 both increased when the
museum
Use synonyms
 opened and decreased after noon. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
winter
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 always lower than the
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 in
summer
Use synonyms
 at the same time
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
day. In
summer
Use synonyms
, when the
museum
Use synonyms
 opened at 9
am
Punctuation problem
am,
show examples
 there weren’t many
visitors
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
at
Change preposition
with
show examples
 200 average. It increased dramatically over a 3-hour
period
Use synonyms
 and hit a peak of 1500
visitors
Use synonyms
 at 12pm. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it dropped gradually and there weren’t any
visitor
Fix the agreement mistake
visitors
show examples
 left after 17pm. In
winter
Use synonyms
, there weren’t many
visitors
Use synonyms
 at 9am, around 100 only. It increased to 500
visitors
Use synonyms
 at 10am and fluctuated over a 2-hour
period
Use synonyms
. The highest
number
Use synonyms
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 recorded in
winter
Use synonyms
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 600
visitors
Use synonyms
 at 11am and 12pm. It dropped gradually after over a 3-hour
period
Use synonyms
 and reached a bottom of 0
visitors
Use synonyms
 at 15pm. It remained flat after over a
3hour
Correct your spelling
3-hour
period
Use synonyms
 until the
museum
Use synonyms
 closed.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Add some linking words.
▼
Linking words: Add linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 80%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, visitors, museum, summer, winter, period, pm with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: