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Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information tlecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where rele ant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information tlecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where rele ant.
The chart illustrates the production and
consumption
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 of electricity for 10
countries
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 in 2014. Units are measured in
billion
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kWh
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, except for Germany, all states used electricity more than they produced it.
However
Linking Words
, the production and the
consumption
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 of electricity in China and
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 were the highest by a significant margin,
while
Linking Words
 the other
countries
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 were relatively close. The five highest
consumption
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countries
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 were China,
US
Correct article usage
the US
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, Russia, Japan, and India with 5322
billion
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kWh
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, 3866
billion
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kWh
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, 1038
billion
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kWh
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, 856.7
billion
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kWh
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, and 698,8
kWh
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 respectively.
While
Linking Words
 they all produce around 900
billion
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Kwh
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kWh
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 or just higher, except for China and
US
Correct article usage
the US
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 with 5293
billion
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kWh
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 and 4099
billion
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kWh
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 respectively. The remaining 5
countries
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 (Canada, France, Brazil, Germany, and Korea, Rep.
) had
Punctuation problem
.) had
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 a
consumption
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 of just under 500
billion
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kWh
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. Of the 5 lowest
countries
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, Korea, Rep., was the lowest one with about 450
billion
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kWh
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.
However
Linking Words
, they all had a production of higher than 500
billion
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kWh
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, except Korea, Rep. , which produced around 485
billion
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kWh
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, countries, billion, kwh with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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