IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some University students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects.others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.discuss both views and give your opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 competitive world, having a higher education is a must.
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 like to study about
various
Correct word choice
wide
show examples
 range of
subjects
Use synonyms
 other than their field of study.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
,some opine that
one
Use synonyms
 should focus solely on their core
subjects
Use synonyms
 to attain a qualification.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
 essay,I will discuss both sides and state my opinion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 university
students
Use synonyms
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to learn about other
subjects
Use synonyms
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
mainly because of the increase in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition in the job market
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
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 well as to secure a
financial
Replace the word
financially
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 state in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future.
to
Fix capitalization
To
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 explain, because of rising financial
instabilities
Punctuation problem
instabilities,
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 it is not enough to have a single job.
if
Fix capitalization
If
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 a science major wants to get into the
high paying
Use the right word
high-paying
show examples
 corporate sector,he or she should know about finances or about management, which will be helpful as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
supporting work.
Linking Words
furthermore
Fix capitalization
Furthermore
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,delving into
range
Correct article usage
a range
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 of fields will always
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to expand
student's
Check wording
students'
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horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
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 multidisciplinary and pave
path
Correct article usage
the path
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 for multiple opportunities in various sectors,which
inturn
Use the right word
in turn
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 results in
Better
Correct article usage
a Better
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 and brighter future
of
Change preposition
for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.. On
contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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,some argue that it is always a good decision to focus fully on
one
Use synonyms
 field
instead
Linking Words
 of jumping across
subjects
Use synonyms
.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 fully side with
this
Linking Words
 opinion, because to excel in
one
Use synonyms
 particular field of
interest
Punctuation problem
interest,
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one
Use synonyms
 should give all of their time in that area
Punctuation problem
. .to
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.to
Correct your spelling
To
 become a surgeon, candidates must
involve with
Verb problem
be
show examples
interest
Replace the word
interested
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 and dedicate their time and other entertainments towards
one
Use synonyms
 Goal.
Linking Words
additionally
Fix capitalization
Additionally
show examples
,there will
be always
Correct word order
always be
show examples
 a demand for people who are
specialized
Use the right word
specialised
show examples
 in
one
Use synonyms
 sector. In conclusion, University
students
Use synonyms
 opting
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 other than their core
subjects
Use synonyms
 is mostly because of the competitive market.
Linking Words
however
Fix capitalization
However
show examples
,it is always a wise decision to
ficuyour
Correct your spelling
focus your
 full time on a selected subject,rather than wandering aimlessly.

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task achievement
Try to make your main points clearer and more focused. Use clearer examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use linking words (like 'however', 'furthermore') to connect your ideas better.
grammar
Check for grammatical errors and punctuation mistakes to make your writing clearer.
strength
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your opinion.
strength
You present different viewpoints, which is good for discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
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