IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The world production output from Asia, Europe, and the rest of the world in different years.

The bar chart illustrates the percentage of the
world
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’s production contribution from
Asia
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,
Europe
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, and the other part of the
world
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 over the period from 1840 to 2000.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 there is a decline in trends except for the output from the rest of the
world
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. In 1840, the highest productive volume was
Asia
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, with 50%,
while
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 the rest of the
world
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 only offered 10% of the production.
However
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, between 1840 and 1920, we could see there was a decreasing trend in the output from
Asia
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.
In addition
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, it hit rock bottom, with 20% in 1920.
In contrast
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, the dedication of manufacturing from
Europe
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 climbed to its peak, with 50% in the same year.
On the contrary
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, the only region that experienced an increasing trend was the rest of the
world
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. In 1840, it contributed the lowest manufacturing, compared to the other two continents.
Nevertheless
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, it grew to about 38% in 1960, which was equal to the devotion from
Europe
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. In 2000, the productive output from
Asia
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 was the highest, with about 45%,
whereas
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 it from
Europe
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 was the lowest, with about 28%. At the same time, the construction allowance from neither
Asia
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 nor
Europe
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 was about 31%. Compared to 1840, it was a noticeable huge jump for
this
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 area.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly summarize the main points in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs for better flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your points.
task achievement
Avoid vague statements and focus on clear facts and figures.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear overall trend of production contributions.
task achievement
Good identification of key years and changes in production output.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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