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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summarise the information by selecting reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph shows the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
workers
Use synonyms
 from five different European countries—namely the Netherlands, France, Sweden, the UK, and Germany—who were absent for a day or more
due to
Linking Words
 health-related reasons over a period of 10
years
Use synonyms
. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it can be inferred that the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of employees absent
due to
Linking Words
 illness generally increased throughout the 10-year period.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the graph shows that the percentages of
workers
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 absent
due to
Linking Words
 illness in the UK and Germany fluctuated slightly over the period.
Nevertheless
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, the
percentage
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 of UK
workers
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 taking a day off
due to
Linking Words
 health reasons remained higher than that of Germany, increasing to around 3.00%,
while
Linking Words
 the rate for German employees dropped to its lowest point in 2001, at approximately 1.00%.
Secondly
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, Sweden
also
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 experienced some volatility in the first four
years
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 but
then
Linking Words
 recorded a significant increase over the following four
years
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, continuing to rise gradually and eventually achieving the
second highest
Use the right word
second-highest
show examples
 absence rate among the countries.
Moreover
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, France began with the highest proportion of
workers
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 absent
due to
Linking Words
 health issues, at just over 5.00%, before experiencing a sharp decline to about 4.00%. The
percentage
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 of French
workers
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 absent
due to
Linking Words
 illness continued to fall to nearly 3.00% by 1996 and
then
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 remained stable over the next five
years
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.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the Netherlands, the absence rate started at the highest level, approximately 5.50%, before experiencing a slight decline and
then
Linking Words
 returning to its previous peak.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, workers, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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